times....sometimes....

Today I had gone to college to collect some documents.
After 2 months I visited my college,
After 2 months I saw the road that was a daily route for me,
After 2 months I walked again on those muddy, but still golden pathway to my college,
After 2 months I felt again like Spider-man while holding the rod to prevent from falling the auto-rickshaw,
After 2 months, I saw many new things too....
I saw some new students who were not exactly my juniors as i am no more studying in that college now,
I saw the emotions on those faces of new students which were playing the same on my face when i was a newbie,
While travelling from Raipur to Vahelal, in the rickshaw, there was a couple.... A girl, with tears in her eyes, and a boy, trying hard to stop her tears..... he called her by some sweet names, she leaned her head on his shoulders, still crying.... He started singing a song for her, which brought a little smile on the girl's face....
And me..... I again concentrated on my hands which were still holding the rod while watching out at the farms, watching at the cows and dogs moving around the fields, I started enjoying the green view of the trees and breathing fresh air and then came my college....

And again the boring part..... I went into the college, collected the documents and walked as fast as i could, so that i could enjoy again my favourite part of my college years, which was commuting....
I got a "Chhakda", i didn't have to wait much and there i was..... Again, watching here and there....
And then i saw one more couple, it was a different one..... they had bunked college and were enjoying the little drops of the beautiful rain, walking with each other, holding each other's hands.... the "Chhakda" slowed down may be to ask them if they wanted to come but the driver got the intention of the fresh couple and decided not to ask.....

And there I was..... again..... diving in my past....
Things started coming to my mind, forcefully..... even though the rain was pouring very slowly, my thoughts were working completely opposite..... If there would had been any measurement or unit of thoughts per seconds, i think i would have broken the best of my personal record.....
I do not remember everything which came to my mind at that time but there was one thing, which didn't go out of my mind the whole day and is still here.... like a wave, splashing on my mind's walls....

The word "sorry"!
I do not remember exactly how i went to that word while on the chain of the thoughts, but i got stuck on that word.
There comes a time when you want to listen to that word from someone whom you might have said many times that "sorry" and "thank you" has no place in this relationship.
You sometimes just want to listen to that word just once......
Some people believe that sometimes just a little sorry brings everything back to the place, again, as it was, as it always has been, as it was supposed to be....for ever.....
And then comes a time when you do want to say this word..... a little but heavy word, "sorry", and you just cant gather words or the courage to say this to someone you have hurt directly or indirectly, whom you've broken with or without intentions....
You just cant say the word....
You just feel that it would just be better to stay away from that person.....
You just feel that a rebound will do nothing but hurt the person more...
You just cant think what will be the best thing to do, or which direction to choose, or what exact words to choose....
You just cant.....
And you come to decide finally to put everything in a box and to lock it up.
And again, after times, your hand just goes again and again to the key and you open the box and start going to the direction you had decided not even to see towards.....
And just start walking on the roads you had deleted from your mind....
And then start writing a post like this..... <~~~~
(._.)