times....sometimes....

Today I had gone to college to collect some documents.
After 2 months I visited my college,
After 2 months I saw the road that was a daily route for me,
After 2 months I walked again on those muddy, but still golden pathway to my college,
After 2 months I felt again like Spider-man while holding the rod to prevent from falling the auto-rickshaw,
After 2 months, I saw many new things too....
I saw some new students who were not exactly my juniors as i am no more studying in that college now,
I saw the emotions on those faces of new students which were playing the same on my face when i was a newbie,
While travelling from Raipur to Vahelal, in the rickshaw, there was a couple.... A girl, with tears in her eyes, and a boy, trying hard to stop her tears..... he called her by some sweet names, she leaned her head on his shoulders, still crying.... He started singing a song for her, which brought a little smile on the girl's face....
And me..... I again concentrated on my hands which were still holding the rod while watching out at the farms, watching at the cows and dogs moving around the fields, I started enjoying the green view of the trees and breathing fresh air and then came my college....

And again the boring part..... I went into the college, collected the documents and walked as fast as i could, so that i could enjoy again my favourite part of my college years, which was commuting....
I got a "Chhakda", i didn't have to wait much and there i was..... Again, watching here and there....
And then i saw one more couple, it was a different one..... they had bunked college and were enjoying the little drops of the beautiful rain, walking with each other, holding each other's hands.... the "Chhakda" slowed down may be to ask them if they wanted to come but the driver got the intention of the fresh couple and decided not to ask.....

And there I was..... again..... diving in my past....
Things started coming to my mind, forcefully..... even though the rain was pouring very slowly, my thoughts were working completely opposite..... If there would had been any measurement or unit of thoughts per seconds, i think i would have broken the best of my personal record.....
I do not remember everything which came to my mind at that time but there was one thing, which didn't go out of my mind the whole day and is still here.... like a wave, splashing on my mind's walls....

The word "sorry"!
I do not remember exactly how i went to that word while on the chain of the thoughts, but i got stuck on that word.
There comes a time when you want to listen to that word from someone whom you might have said many times that "sorry" and "thank you" has no place in this relationship.
You sometimes just want to listen to that word just once......
Some people believe that sometimes just a little sorry brings everything back to the place, again, as it was, as it always has been, as it was supposed to be....for ever.....
And then comes a time when you do want to say this word..... a little but heavy word, "sorry", and you just cant gather words or the courage to say this to someone you have hurt directly or indirectly, whom you've broken with or without intentions....
You just cant say the word....
You just feel that it would just be better to stay away from that person.....
You just feel that a rebound will do nothing but hurt the person more...
You just cant think what will be the best thing to do, or which direction to choose, or what exact words to choose....
You just cant.....
And you come to decide finally to put everything in a box and to lock it up.
And again, after times, your hand just goes again and again to the key and you open the box and start going to the direction you had decided not even to see towards.....
And just start walking on the roads you had deleted from your mind....
And then start writing a post like this..... <~~~~
(._.)

"Aise naa dekho...."

About a month and some days before, on 7th June, I heard about a new song by ARR, "Aise na dekho..."-Raanjhana.
I read about the song (lyrics and some detailed description of the meaning and feelings behind the wordings of the song) on a blog by Yuvraj Jadeja.
I didn't give much thoughts on that post and even ignored to listen to the song.
But after some days, when the movie released and got a great response by critics as well as by public(class and mass), I decided to watch the movie. And when the song started playing, it just started melting my heart.
The music, the wordings, ARR's voice..... everything just gave me goosebumps. The movie was simply amazing, but this song..... it had entered my vein, my brain! It started moving in my heart, as my own part.
Each and every word of the song was like pouring on my mind.
It had not happened for the first time in my life..... I've felt things like this before....
But you know, ARR's songs mostly come with loads and loads of feelings.
-------------------
And yes, The song...
It reminds us of some people, some relations, some moments....
The turn life takes, the twist life shows.....
The chapter of life's story where nothing seems positive,
The moment when wherever we see, only sadness and darkness appears.
The time when tears flow with the water while having shower, the time when the pillow gets to taste the salty water every night.
-------------------
Well, the song!
She was there, talking with other people, as happy as before, may be hiding something deep inside her.
Or may be she has just moved on, is it really that easy to forget someone?
She is coming towards me, oh! is she?
It's really happening finally! After so many time, after so many days!
Is it real or am I just hallucinating?
Alas! I was hallucinating, here I am, nowhere else but in my dreams....
Even if she would have been somewhere nearby, she would have just moved away without given a single look, as if she had never met me before.....

Does she think she will have to give me anything back to me for my love?
Does she know that is not called love if it expect anything back....
May be what I want is just the old time, the time when she used to see me with a smiling face.... with shining eyes....
Is that selfishness?

Everything is changed now.....nothing's the same....
I feel like a stone, a stone that is somewhere where no one has ever been to.... unseen, untouched....
Untouched?
it feels like i'm the first flake of snow of the first snowfall of the season, the first drop of rain after a hot summer.....
Like time, i'd be lost....

But please, one look, just one look is what i want, the same look that you used to give before..... A look full of life.... Because it feels that that is the only thing that can bring back my life..... that look is my life.....! 

Bad Mood Rising

I've noticed the climate many times that it changes with my own mood.
May be it's just my own imagination, But still, I believe it.
Whichever season it is, either winter or summer, if i'm happy and want to love the climate outside, the mother nature creates the mood i want. Like if it's monsoon and i want to enjoy some sunshine, for some minutes the clouds would make way for the sun rays to reach to Viraj.  If it's summer and i'm upset, there sure would be a little rain. just so that i can express my emotions through the weather to no one but mother nature.
As i said before, it might just be my imagination and nothing else, but from the past week, I was feeling low, and the co-incidence has shown its new heights by changing the climate of summer to the one as my mood, like monsoon.

In my childhood i had seen one episode of Aladdin with similar story.
I'm sharing that episode here.

.

"Thanks" and "Rudeness"

It has been a long time i have written something meaningful on this blog.
I hope everyone has stopped reading this so that i can start writing all those mumble jumble words i used to write here.

Oh, the title....!
I was just thinking about some good and bad habits of mine and just noticed that i cant reply to "thanks"!!
And seriously, all that i can do after listening to "thanks" or "thank you" is just smiling like a dumb!
And not only in real life but also in virtual world (social networking sites) i cant say anything else but putting a simple smiley :-) ! O.o

Obviously it looks rude! People might be thinking that "he has done something for us, we thanked and all he is thinking now is that he has done something great work! How rude he is!"
But that's not just true. There are lots of things that i cant give respond to like sorry's, thanks's and many more.

Well, may be i wont share posts of this blogs to any of social sites. But still if someone's reading this, i just want to ask, "is there anything i can do for this of my habit?"
I don't like to be formal by saying welcome, anytime, it's my pleasure or anything cliche. So if you have any suggestions, the comment box is still down here.... :)

Just wanted to try...

I was(actually I am) watching my favourite tvshow (on lappy ;-) ) and just thought about writing something, but again internet was not working and then I just noticed net was working great on tablet, so just thought about downloading application for blogger from play store and downloaded it...

But as I said net was working great on this device, I was wrong, it was just working...not working great :-P
So it took very long time to get downloaded, and I checked the app and its working functionalities... and clicked on 'new post' and started writing this post....

So I don't have much to write today...
I may write more often on this blog if it feels easy to write using this post.....

Let's see what time has to do with this...

Till then, enjoy life, and I'll go back to enjoy 'DEXTER'.....

P.S. I'll write more about dexter someday... a detailed post... but may be on another blog.... :-)

Life - I love you ♥

And here I am, back after a very long time, back to my home, back to my sandbox, back to my play ground, back to my open "personal blog".

I have to keep reminding my brain about this blog, but my mind keep forgetting about it. But I won’t blame my mind for that. Everyone loves their mother tongue (language) and so do I. I started writing in Gujarati regularly and I read more Gujarati blogs than English ones. But whenever I read any English blog or any novel in English, it reminds me of this blog. I open the dashboard, click on 'new post', start writing, think a lot about what to write, end up in writing random stuff about comparing my both blogs(just like this post :p, ok serious :-|), save the post as a draft, do logout and then just forget about that saved draft.

So today I thought about a new idea. As the internet isn't working from around 6 to 7 days (#BSNL-Bakvaas-Sanchaar-Nigam-Limited), I opened notepad, saved it in my "fun with words" folder, and started writing. Now I will keep writing until I get bored, or satisfied (to get you bored :P), wait for the net to get started, open blogspot, clicking on 'new post', "copy-paste" and share :-D

And I'm thinking to follow this method for every time from now (for this blog). But I won’t write (boring and dull) stuff like this all the time.

As I haven't written any post as I used to write when I was new to blogging, I'm thinking of writing again about my random thoughts, random experiences of my amazing(?) life, some fiction stories, poems(bwahahahaha 3:D), some happiness{:)}, some sadness{:(}, some peace, some anger, et cetera....

And I just thought, "Why should I wait for writing all this stuff from next time!" Because,

~~"NOW" is the best time I know to do anything I want to do!~~

So.... as I said, from the day I shared last post and today, life has changed, things have changed (Oh! I haven't said?! :p), I'm loving my life more and more. 'The purpose of living life' changes everyday just like 'the purpose of writing' changes (yes, purposes of writing! I'll write more about this on some other day).

The life I have lived looks a lot more thrilling than the thrill rides we enjoy at amusement parks, more interesting than the fiction stories we read, more vulnerable than an open wound, more enjoyable than a funny movie or play.

Life can be compared with the subjects I have studied till today.

-It has some mathematics-summation and substraction of relations, division and multiplication of happiness and sorrows.
-It has some science- acceleration to life to help us to go anywhere we want to go, frictions to life to put some challenges to make us stronger.
-It has philosophies- at every point of life.
-It has literature- Short stories, long stories, success stories and love stories.

Lots and lots of other theories can also be applied directly to our life. And that’s why I enjoy my life. Because-

~~"Life is no fun without fictions and frictions."~~

So keep reading, keep enjoying your life  Fir milenge likhte-padhte… ;)

મગજ નો ઉકળાટ!

આજે બસ ઈચ્છા થઇ ગઈ અચાનક આ બ્લોગ માં ગુજરાતી માં લખવાની, ઘણા ટાઈમ થી આમ પણ આમાં કઈ લખાયું નતું, અને ઈંગ્લીશ માં લખવાનો  મૂડ નતો.

ઘણી વાર જેમ ચોમાસામાં ઉકળાટ પછી વરસાદ વરસી પડે, એમ આજે મગજ માં ઉકળાટ પછી વરસવાની ઈચ્છા થઇ ગઈ, હવે  એકલા એકલા તો કોની પર વરસવાનું!

સૌથી પહેલા તો મીડિયા પ્લેયર પર વરસ્યો, સોન્ગ્સ સાંભળ્યા..... થોડોક ઉકળાટ ઓછો થઇ ગયો, પણ હજી વાદળમાં થોડુક પાણી અને મગજ ની થોડી બેચેની બાકી રહી ગઈ હતી, તો દર વખત ની જેમ જ યાદ આવી ગયો મારો વ્હાલો વ્હાલો બ્લોગ.

થોડાક ક્વોટસ લખવાની ઈચ્છા થઇ ગઈ હતી.....ક્યાંક સાંભળેલા, ક્યાંક અનુભવેલા, ડાયરીમાં ટપકાવેલા ક્વોટસ.

જે મેં અનુભવ્યા હતા, અથવા તો રેન્ડમલી મારા મગજ માં આવી ગયા હતા. એવા ક્વોટસ અહિયાં પધરાવું છું... 

૧) "ટાઈમ જે પણ આપે છે, એ ફિલ્ટર કરીને જ આપે છે!"  

૨)"જીવતા રહેવાના હોવા છતાં કહેલા છેલ્લા 'BYE's મૃત્યુ કરતા વધારે દર્દનાક હોય છે!" 

૩)"કેટલીક વસ્તુઓ સમજવા કરતા એમાં ગૂંચવાયેલા રહેવામાં જ વધારે શાણપણ છે!"

--વિરાજ રાઓલ (અનુભવ્યા છે એટલે મારું નામ લખું છું!)

આમ તો ઘણા ટાઈમ પહેલા લખેલા હતા, પણ આજે બસ એમ જ share કરવાની ઈચ્છા થઇ ગઈ(નસીબ તો જુઓ તમારા!! ;) )

ચાલો તો વાંચતા રહો મારો પર્સનલ ઓપન ડાયરી જેવો બ્લોગ!

ફિર મિલેંગે ચલતે ચલતે! :D